#mychildhas2moms

 

My child has two moms. 

My child is sociable, happy, well-adjusted, and everyone’s favorite.  I love him with all of me.  Many people know that my child is a foster child and we are his foster family.  Those that are close to him/us know that this fact is not part of his identity nor is it an indication of his worth.  Being a part of the foster system did not elevate my child nor does it tear him down.  

My child’s other mom is quick-witted, friendly, personable, and she loves my child with all that she has.  Many people I come in contact with do not really know Munchkin’s birthmom…and I want to truthfully admit that I’m one of them.  But what I do know is this: Being a part of the foster system is not her identity nor is it an indication of her worth.  She is my baby’s momma and I admire her as my fellow human, as a partner in parenting, and mostly because of her undying devotion to this child…my child.

I love all my children: birthchildren, miscarried, stillborn, foster, and my future adoptive children.  I take ownership, responsibility and great joy in my role as their ‘mum’ for as long as I can…as long as they need and want me to.  I will be their support, guidance, and comfort because I’m fiercely in love with each and every one of them no matter how long they are/were in my home.  This is my life as Kristina, for being part of the foster system is not my identity nor is it an indication of my worth…but being Kristina is.  Many times being a fostermom has felt like it is a bigger part of my life than it really is.  Not that being a fostermom isn’t a big deal…it’s not a title I take lightly…but foster parenting it is not the whole of me.  

Today was a “bad foster day” and I’m emotionally drained and my heart is very broken.  In this moment (for today is only that, a fleeting moment), I choose to remind myself of desires of my broken heart.  I’m devoted to making a difference and I will continue to defend and love those that need it most.  

I do want to grow my family…permanently.  I want to know that when I plan a family vacation, I can count on watching my Munchkin swim in the pool with my “biggers”.  I want to be able to tell my extended family how many kids they should anticipate at holiday gatherings.  I want to be able to write in my child’s memory book and not worry about filtering out “future talk” because I can’t plan on seeing him grow and age.  I want all of these things, and they will happen…but (and this is the most difficult thing to admit to myself) it may not be with this child.  We brought Munchkin home from the hospital, raised him for his entire life, but that doesn’t guarantee any future custodial parental situation.  “Forever” may not happen with this child, but eventually, We will enjoy the security and promise of hope that accompanies that finality named, adoption.  

My child has two moms.  And I’m overwhelmingly passionate by all that those 5 words mean.

#countmykids